Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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