She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
