Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(406): View more from Montana

So, how was the dinner

(1-406): View more from Montana

Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.

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(415): View more from California

its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead

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(314): View more from Missouri

i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!

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(586): View more from Michigan

Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.

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(206): View more from Washington

Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.

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