I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
