Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
