Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
