the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
