Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
