When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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