I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
