I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
