i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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