I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
God, I missed his penis.
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