Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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