Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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