It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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