Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
