Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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