Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
that's an acceptable place to lick
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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