in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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