i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
