My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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