I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
