Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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(940): View more from Texas

she started talking about my kids

(1-940): View more from Texas

was she topless?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge

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(315): View more from New York

my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.

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(954): View more from Florida

im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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(515): View more from Iowa

i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.

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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here

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