I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
