By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
