She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
