Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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