Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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