So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
