okay pat passed out under dana's car
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
