absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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