Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
