oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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