When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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