my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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