this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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