Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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