We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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