we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
