You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
