Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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