He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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