dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
