just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
