I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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