that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
