Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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