The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
