what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Let's get the cat blown out
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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