I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
