when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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