That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
