I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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