The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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