Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you traded sex for a burrito?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Alive.
So much puke
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
