It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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