You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize