Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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