Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize