You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
