I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
