this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
